Letting  go of a relationship.

The most difficult phase in anybody’s life is to let go a relationship which you have cherished for long. But many of us have to deal with it at some way or the other. If you don’t put effort or fight back the situation then you would be like a small leaf in the flow of the current. Where you just have to flow with the water rather than decide for yourself. The most important thing why some people can’t let go of a relationship is the HURT it has caused. They can’t let go the HURT. It’s human tendency to remember   the worst  & forget the good part of any existence on the earth. I feel hurt is something which can be described as:-

H:– Its Him everywhere. You remember him everywhere, not matter where you go you take him along virtually. The whole world is painted with his colors, he would have loved this food, he would have liked this color on me, this shirt would look good on him,  what would he be doing at this point in time. You can’t stop thinking about him. U would end up talking about him ( Your ex)  to as many people as possible, girls have this special bonding to connect whenever they have slightest opportunity  to cry. Whenever you start thinking about him, punish yourself. Be hard on yourself, you will get result .you will realizes your life is less complex without him.You don’t have to question your ability when he is not around, you can be yourself.

U– It’s all about U . You feel your relationship was much better than other relationship around you, try to recall all the relationships around you—u  would realize every relationship is unique-hence its special-yours was no exception. U had a relationship, emphasizes on the word had. Do whatever it takes to ensure yourself that you would be fine without him. Remember you meant world to him at some point in time, so u have that punch in you.. U had thought to spend life with him, age with him,  fight on new car model that you would buy together, book flat together, cook for him, have kids , discuss on the traits your kid have acquired respectively from both of you & the most important thing you would be recognized as his wife & then the list goes on …… this cannot be achieved now. You fear that you will not fall for any guy, but there would be someone in life at some phase who would love to do all the above listed things with you. Do u think you will not fall  for that guy who would probably give something which your ex couldn’t?. But you need to ensure, the next guy is worth the effort, once failed is a human-twice failed is a fool. You will again mean world to someone else as well  in much more better way.

R– He didn’t Reciprocate your feelings, everybody feels they have put in the maximum contribution in the relationship & the other person didn’t reciprocate the feelings. I feel at the end of the day what counts is how many such feeling did u have rather than none. Cox if you have such feelings than probably you have put in the maximum effort from your side. My relationship is 80% perfect, if he changes for the 20% —we would achieve that 100% state for both of us. You would think why doesn’t he feel the effort to put in that 20%, why am I putting the rest 80%? Why doesn’t he feel the need to put that effort to make it work, I find my friend minta say this statement very often, “ we have only 1 life, we should spend it with the person for whom we are willing to put that 20%  effort”. Assure yourself he was not meant to be with you cox he was not willing to put in that extra effort to make your relationship work.

T– You don’t  Trust anyone else with the same degree of love, kindness & comfort. The most obvious feeling that you get is “why I am sharing his space with someone else”—but realize that your ex- has created this space so that someone else fits in there. He obviously dumped you cox he witness a better future with someone else.  I always feel people don’t get out of there broken relationship is because of their comfort zone. You become so comfortable with your ex-boyfriend’s behavior & tantrums that you don’t want to put the same effort in some other person because you are scared that history might repeat itself.  But you have to remind yourself periodically that history is supposed to be referred not to be repeated…….It’s like your own recipe book, where you remind yourself of the past mistake you did while cooking-so that you don’t repeat it.

Finally, don’t try to bind the broken relationship cox its like a mountain made up of ice, if you once break it –you cannot re-build it. At the end of the day you still feel he would make it to your door with big flowers in the hand &   say,” forgot what happened let’s start refresh” – you have to remind yourself that dream is the subset of sleep & not of reality.  Remember your failures, they will provide strength to make better choices in the future.

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