My mother and grandmother raised me to be a strong, confidant woman and taught me that the sky was the limit.Strong does not mean rude,self obssed and unkind.Strong means to believe in self, do the right and treat everyone, including yourself with respect. Infact mom always said, being affectionte is rather more important than to be right. When my daughter was born on 27th march 2012, I wanted to be sure that she learned those lessons I did. The older she gets the more I realize what a challenge that is. As mother I am in front line between my daughter and a world that is ready to tell her that she is not good enough. It is my job to teach her that she is so much more than good enough.
I wonder how and when I will teach her these lessons but I will ensure I do at the end of the day. Even fellow mothers can do the same. We need to
1. Teach your daughter to never allow herself to be anyone’s property and that you will disown her if she ever acts like someone else property.
2. Teach your daughter to talk about her feelings – not eat them or purge them. Or if she doesn’t want to talk, teach her to express her feelings through writing, art, music, sports, etc.
3. Teach your daughter to work with what she’s got and love what she’s got. Tall, short, fat, thin, your daughter is beautiful – inside and out. Make sure you tell her all the time and make sure she believes it.
4. Teach your daughter to like and respect herself and demand respect from those around her. She might end up lonely at times, but at least she won’t be a doormat.
5. Teach your daughter that “fish lips” photos are never appropriate and never attractive.
6. Teach your daughter to value herself enough to defend herself – physically and verbally. Let your daughter watch “The Burning Bed.” She’ll never forget it and she’ll always know she has “options” if she finds herself in an abusive relationship.
7. Teach your daughter to be strong and confident in her abilities and not be afraid of failure. Teach her that sometimes she will fail, but she can’t let that fear stop her from trying something.
8. Teach your daughter that she has the right to get loud. Make sure she knows girls can get angry, they can have opinions and they can throw “lady like” behavior out the window if necessary.
9. Teach your daughter that smart girls get further in life than slutty girls.
10. Teach your daughter to walk away from the teen pressure. There is so much pressure put on young girls these days to look pretty or hot it’s nauseating.
11. Don’t let your daughter marry young. Encourage her to get out and see the world, live on her own and figure out who she is and what she wants in a partner before she settles down.
12. Teach your daughter that there’s nothing wrong with staying home on a Friday night and reading a good book, but try to get her to read more than just Chick Lit. Give her The Gift of Fear. This book really empowers women to spot danger signals. Unfortunately in the world we live in, this is an important gift to have.
13. Teach your daughter to beat the boys at their own games.
14. Teach your daughter to be able to laugh at herself and have a sense of humor. There are so many women I meet that say they have a sense of humor, but they really don’t.
15. Teach your daughter that the “Queen Bees” and “Wanna Bees” and “mean girls” are a waste of time nd she should just invest in one or two great friends.
16. Teach your daughter that her choices in life are limitless. She really can do anything – except maybe use the Men’s Restroom.
17. Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley
18. Your hobbies aren’t weird. It’s admirable to be unique
19. Be an example. I read recently (I don’t remember where) that our children learn more about how to be from the same-sex parent. In other words, our daughters learn how to be women by the example we set. When we are confident in our abilities, when we don’t belittle ourselves, when we have a positive self-image, then our daughters will learn that is the way to be. My Mom had lots of reasons to give up, but she never did. She was determined to create a better life for herself and her children and that is just what she did. Now from that example I can strive to do the same thing for my kid.
Last for my daughter: I love the sound of your laugh and Always be gracious. Your level of gratitude reveals your character