I had to make one of the toughest decisions as a mother, to deliver my daughter in India or in England? For most of the Indians the answers was obvious, but for me it was other way around.
‘’something is very wrong with you’’ said one of my relative when I landed in Mumbai. This is not the 1st time I have heard those remarks.
‘’Your daughter would have got citizenship, why did you come back?’’, ‘’you are not a good mother’’, ‘’She would be local for her higher studies which is better than India’’, ‘’it’s a better country to stay’’, ‘’Apparently she could go to USA, New Zealand, Australia, any European countries for studies/ job without ever worrying about visa, opportunity would have been limitless’’. Apart from these, few gossip around the town and relative atmosphere, ‘’she is too young to realize her mistake’’, ‘’my grandson resides in London and speaks such a fluent English’’, ‘’ Her husband wouldn’t have agreed, looks like it-Everything can’t be expressed, poor girl is taking blame on her’’ –anybody who knows me in person will never agree to this. Poor girl….no way!!!! There were list of other comments which I don’t want to include for the sake of complexity. The only person who didn’t ever question me was: my mom.
YES, I agree vipra (my daughter) would have had all the above stated comments:- Limitless opportunities with citizenship and a life in developed country. People have been telling me to stay in the land of meadows and harry potter and Victorian culture- in a tone as if it’s really a general rule to live outside India (If you get visa there). In UK vipra would have got me free medical benefits even if she is not its citizen, free education that too in a mile of her parents postcode, 2 earning parents who adore her with (we almost earn 4 times of what we would earn in India), a Victorian style apartment with few British friends.
But who said I wanted to give her all this and on contrary I wanted to her to live what her parents what thy could afford in India. Not because I hate her but love her immensely. Despite all the apparent advantages of a developed country why India.
My answer was simple:- Its is where my dreams, aspirations came true with hard work, dedication and love, immense love from friends and family. But it’s not to say India is a safer choice. If anything it’s the more difficult one to make. Times are hard for dreamers, especially in a country with too many people but so little resources to spare.
But that’s exactly what’s pushing us to strive. Contentment comes easy. But I do not want her to live for contentment. Neither do Indians.
In England, a lot of people stay in their counties and go by never getting to see London, to try and make it there. Here, young people from India are moving to England every chance they get. Stories of boys and girls from small towns making it happen in the city are unfolding every day.
Because perseverance is what we’re made of.
It’s in our DNA. We are hard-wired to always try and seek better opportunities.
Our system is problematic. That has been known for a long time now. But allow me to use a rhetoric that celebrates the fact that we strive to defy the odds. How did we do it? Because we said we would and we said we can. We dreamed and made it happen. I want her to experience all this and make her own choices with the difficulties that surround it. She has to earn it with rather than making it available to her.
There are a million others like me, who will one day have the choice to leave the country. They should; some would. I am not closing my doors too. All I am saying is EARN IT.
So to all my relatives, my daughter will have a fun-filled, healthy and prosperous life in India if she chose to be there or else she will make it happen somewhere else in the world. Be assured.