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A letter to my mom.

Dear mom & Dad,

Thank you for staying with us for 6 months, I know it hasn’t been easy on us. Even though I haven’t said it loud but I cherished the moment’s v shared together. I really hope form bottom of my life we get more opportunities to stay together and if I see any more, be rest assured I will grab it with both of my hands.

Thank you for giving unconditional love to vipra, you know she is not among the easy one to trust anybody. But she does treats you like her own mom. That couldn’t have happened if your stay be short than 6 months. She knows who her grandparents her and what it feels to be loved. Even though she is just 4year old but she understands. You can imagine the way she tells she does not like me addressing you my mother, instead hers. This statement tells you everything you have given her……love, care, discipline and trust. On the basis you know vipra is strong willed child, nobody can influence or make decision for her. I am truly blessed to have a mother like you, I may not mention this verbally often. You have that magic that touches everybody life’s.

Mothers are always seen as the strong ones, the ones who protect their daughters from all danger and heartbreaks. All my life (and probably most your life) you have been watching over me attentively. Sometimes (rarely) I happily accept your advice, most of the time I reply with a glare or a grunt. I know I don’t say this enough. I want to be you. I want to be the mother my vipra can look up to. The cool mom that always looks glamorous in front of her schoolmates. The mother who teaches her daughter how to talk to others.  I have discovered long ago what I want to be. I want to be a mother a daughter can be proud of, just like you.I hope vipra is proud of me like I am of you someday…..when that happens I will truly felicitate you in real senses. But with this goal I release the challenges in had thrown in your path.I guess it gods way to make you realize human values.

As I end this letter, I want you to know how badly I will miss you. I don’t really know what it is Mom; all I know is that I miss you. I don’t miss the suffering that you were going through, but I do miss everything about you. You never really know the extent of “a mother’s love,” until one day you wake up and realize that you will never get to experience it again. I miss your soothing touch, your loving spirit, your strength, and your guidance. You see “a mother’s love,” is something that can never be replicated so no matter how strong the support system around me, and no matter how much love I receive from anyone else I don’t think I will ever experience or witness what you gave me. It’s like an addict that will always be searching for that first “high,” again, but not knowing that it’s virtually impossible to ever get that high again, so he consistently indulges, holding on to nothing more than…hope.

Don’t get me wrong Mom….you raised me #RIGHT! You raised me to be strong and you prepared me mentally for life without you. Mom I just wish you would have prepared me for the emotional void that I am experiencing right now. More important once I come back form india. Vipra, me & vishal will miss you both way too much. Lastly I wanted to apologize for small arguments with dad. I know I would have avoided few of them.Will try to remember this in future and improve. Please forgive me for my mistakes.

Lots of love, pradnya

2nd birthday

Vipra’s birthday have to be special and planned as per her wish and fancy. I have always believed in fun filled, good food birthday parties. I should have been a event planner….Its the celebration of your child gorwing and more then anything love vipra’s patience, dedication and happiness when she sees her fav cahracerters taking shape. As a child she is very naughty, every obejct/ physical shape in our house has been touched, experienced and tested for pressure.She would bang anything and witness the result, with time she has undertsood that every physical shape will withstand certain pressure. So these days, she startes with applying little, extended to maximum pressure to a object and see the result. Exception are bithday decorations, she loves them so they stay without been tested. If these objects had soul, they must be envying the birthday decorations.

Its the month of the year when my daughter turns into new year-Birthday. Her birthday puts me in enromous pressure for simple reson to organize it.My husband’s thought, i shoudlnt stress out so much for organizing it. My thoughts: its only initally years where i can host her birthday parties, once she is about 7 or 8 she woudl prefer to have it in her way, her style and the way she wants it.Birthdays have always been my soft spot. I like celebrating birthdays laveshly,

For her second birthday, i asked her which cake she needs. Her response was Peppa Pig, the longest craze she had or still has. Spiderman,thomas train, waybuloo (second longest craze), mickey mouse have been passing phases. They are there for few days and forgoteen. But peepa pig is special..its been with her for quite a long time. I knew her asnwer but better to check, so the cake was decided and so was the theme-Peepa Pig. Her friend list finalised, 10 families.

Leeds Castle- timeline observation

Wednesday 29th Sep 2010,11 am: Revati calls up, ”pradnya would you like to join tomorrow for a  pinic to Leeds Castle?”.

Me reply:”- Sure,y not”. Revathy is one of my friend currently we are exploring Uk together.

Wednesday 29th Set 2010, 12am:- Vishal(husband) calls me up, i inform him about my next day travel. Being a protective husband he is reluctant to my travel.Anything that requires little extra effort from my side, he is always reluctant. (cant blame the poor soul—I have a fractured collar bone, which is why i am v sensitives to jerks). But i am in a mood to get my point through and argue with him for travel, he had no choice than to permit me as he knows my enthusiasm for travel and to explore new locations. Most important he doesnt like visiting castle, so its better he is not around other wise wouldn’t get much time to explore.

Thursday 30th Sep 2010, we were suposse to report at the reporting point by 6:45am. As usual, for some unknown reason, inspite of getting up by 4:45am, i was running late.

7.10 am :- reached the reporting point.

7:15am:- we started

7:20am:- I was apologizing revati for my delay, poor soul had to pretend to forgive me.Mode of travel was by bus, the moment i entered the bus-i realized we were approximately more than 30 females ready  to explore the Castle.

9:10am:- We approach the castle and here is the beautiful top view of the castle.No wonder any king or queen would fight to live in this beauty.I love history and this is one of my fav castle.Think to re-visit with vipra again.

Pisa-my 1st city in our Europe trip

After a months of speculation and excitement about our europe trip we finally reached a concise to travel the cities. Pisa was the 1st start city in our europe trip.Its a city in Tuscany, central Italy.Although pisa is known worldwide for its leaning tower of, the city contains more than 20 historic churches.We had planed a single day trip to pisa.Reached pisa station on the morning at started the day out.

We went to the tourist information cell and got the information that we required.It was told to us the leaning tower of pisa is walking distance from the station….appro 20 mins walk, while exploring the city. It was a good way to see the city.

We saw this santa maria della spine church on our way to leaning tower of pisa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I observed the city people extensively used bicycle to commute… saw college girls, house wifes, professional even party going crowd riding a bicycle….strange but interesting.

Its a clean city with narrow roads.

Reached the leaning tower of pisa……the 1st look.This famous bell tower, the so-called Leaning Tower of Pisa, inclines 21 feet out of plumb at the top–the result of uneven settling of the foundation.

Pisa (bell tower) is situated behind the cathedral.This Romanesque cathedral was built at a time when Pisa was one of the most powerful maritime centers in Italy. The complex follows the early Christian pattern of separate structures for the church, baptistry, and bell tower, all of which are unified by the use of similar stone and the design.

We purchased our monument of the pisa tower, had a lunch  and started to walk towards the pisa central station. Our train was scheduled for our next destination.

 

Straight from heart…

My dear daughter,

It seems like yesterday that we brought you home from the hospital, and now you are my little angle. Your father and I were very nervous at the prospect of being first time parents It did not strike us until you arrived – and then it hit us.I must say, i fit into the mother role pretty fast.But I was overwhelmed by this new responsibility. To care for this tiny life for the rest of my life! Was I ready for it?

It took a while for me to come to terms with the fact that I was a mother and was going to be one forever. But today after 1 year and almost 3 months of looking back, I cannot help but smile. It is a feeling of fulfillment beyond words. Although I am still not sure if I am a great mother, I feel that I have done some justice to the role.

Every milestone of yours was a kind of personal victory for me. Your first smile, your first word, your first step…. I was just amazed and once again overwhelmed at what a little miracle you are.

As the months have passed things started to get very challenging and sometimes I found myself in very difficult situations. The mess you made, the tantrums you threw, and the other millions of naughty things you did really stressed me out. I have agonised over many of the decisions I had to make when it came to discipline. I have had many arguments with your dad. But in time we learnt to parent as a team. We still have our differences of opinion but have learned to listen to each other.Yesterday, we had been to a vision express—to give a fresh order for my specs. You have sucessfully trown 2 specs that i previously owned. I was so watchful over you and few seconds i tried few frames, you smashed your middle finger(left hand) with a wodden plank. You cried for almost an hour and i was feeling terrbile for not been extra watchful over you. I know the pain when must have gone through sorry for that…..

I have learnt so much from you and will continue to do so for the years to come. You have a million dollar smile.You can win anybody with your smile. when you grow up and have boyfriend they will tell you this…take it form me.  How to forgive, how to love unconditionally, how not to expect anything in return, how to be innocent, how to enjoy the small things in life, how to be carefree…. The list is endless…. Thank you! You have made my life worthwhile! God bless you!Its so pleasure to watch you grow.

Love u always,

Mom

New friendship

It was one of the moment where v said, “v should catch up more” & departed to our homes thinking, what great guys,v should seriously catch up more.Next day morning- life came up with new surprises & yesterday’s feeling were long forgotten.

Days turned into weeks & weeks in month.we stay like stone throw distance from each other, still never thought of formally/informally meeting each other.though the thought lingered….

I am referring here friendship between 3 families:unique in every way & common in mindset.Time decided to put an end to our procastination game & Mrs Agarwal decided to throw a chritmas party for her son.destiny played his part & there v were at her house introducing ourself in most uncommon yet friendly way.my context here as most uncommon way is:v peaked into each other’s personality. our aspirations ,desire,wish list,drawbacks,funny side.lucky everybody has a funny bone in them.

The introduction session went on till midnight & there v decided to catch up more often (this time everybody’s brain neurons & emotions where in sync).so I decided to call everybody home for dinner.time & date was set.we were all eager to meet & laugh out souls out.

As predicted the evening was wonderful with food, games, laughter & drinks(not much).we saw each other as individuals rather then couples.We discussed each others dreams & do v really have wings to achieve them? Gave insight & laughed at them.you don’t get  such friendship  planned and v were fortunate enough to achieve it unplanned.By end of the night v decided to visit an European country together.

It was dhwani’s turn to invite us, note that it was not mandate.Dhwani is a person who likes to settle down score that too soon.the meet at her place was much rather much informal.we criticized each other for outrageous current decisions in life.we revisited each other goals & gave “parent like opinion”.parent like opinion as per my dictionary is: you say yes or no, there is no middle way.we finalised our destination, that was like icing on the cake.With lot of back & froth,lengthy decisions in busy schedule- v are on a our way to prague in March.finally what a sigh of relief……

Now guess v will not decide & meet but rather meet to catch up

 

 

 

Married with differences….

Mine was a arrange marrg, proposal brought by my aunt and well executed by my parents. My parents finally found the perfect son-in-law to take care of their daughter, for whom they have been patiently waiting for almost 4 years. The marrg was most talk-of –town with lavish food and entertainment. What my parent’s realize is my marriage was “”with difference””. Me and Vishal are wired so differently…..when I think of it now, I feel why should my parents be bothered about our wiring? Their job was to get us married and the onus lies on me and Vishal to sustain the marriage.

So to start with we are married with differences. I know the fact, that no two people have the same goal, react the same way or enjoy the same thing, at the same time or rather ALL THE TIME.

Vishal is introvert; he prefers to have limited words with other people and likes his own space with laptop and news (especially current affairs). For him, you need to be verbal & vocal about you needs, belief, wants and dislikes frustration. He is more process ordinated, whenever we encounter a bad satiation—his reaction is to find out what caused this situation and then comes the solution. He is very practical, be it with this mom, job, political issues, society, friends, family and WIFE. Once he gets to understand an issue he is very acceptable about it. He likes been subtle and non-vocal about his needs and preferences.

I am opposite to every inch of his exsistence….hence we are married with differences.

Thankfully, we have got a way around our difference. While we live with having different tastes in foods and music, differences that emerge in the face of life events ( jobs, children, financial burdens) often threaten our way around. We still have arguments, oh ok fights. Some times it’s impossible to bear vishal’s opinion about something silly…why does he have a problem with me buying earrings, whole bunch every time? why does he get bothered?Below are few commandments i have followed to get through our differences,

Handling Differences – A Constructive Way

Given that some of the best of what we have as a couple – is the constructive mix of our differences, it becomes important to consider a few steps for moving differences from becoming problems – to becoming possibilities, points of discussion, issues to address, aspects to accept or signals for seeking help.

Remove The Expectation Or Need To Change The Other

When there is no need to change  vishal, the verbal and non-verbal tone can be one of curiosity instead of fear and demand which inevitably trigger resistance and withdrawal instead of discussion.

Making Room for Discussion

In their work on Acceptance and Change in Couple Therapy, psychologists Neil Jacobson and Andrew Christensen, offer couples techniques that we can build upon to make differences less threatening and more transforming.

You and your partner will know if married with differences can work, mine is getting worked till now……

“ I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap.”

Parting ways again…

Parting ways again….

It’s has been incredibly journey post marriage. Still (after 3 years) feels so good to be married to vishal. We decided on each other in less than a week, incredible feeling…oh!! I have this huge habit to navigate from the topic ….let me get myself back…

I balance the responsibilities associated with being a wife, mother, pre-sales profile, daughter, and friend with relatively grace and poise. My personal and professional lives are in constant competition for my attention. This time , my personal live has overtaken my professional live…I can hardly control the spillover from one vein to another.

Vishal has gone to London for a brief period; I pursued my professional live as pre-sales consultant in India(Hyderabad) and we both were happy with our decision to stay apart for a while. This could give us space in time and body to live form each other and also facilitate the growth in our professional life. With a whopping EMI for our new house: this seemed to be the perfect solution, untill….

Being parent is tough job. Tough for the reason you mind continuously battles between what’s right for your child   v/s what is the  current situation. Doing this your body fails you. Your mind fails you. You fail you spouse. Still the job is undone…..you need that extra courage to decide what’s right for your child.

In my case, I enjoy the everyday bliss my daughter offers. She is at age where exploration is the virtue of life. From testing water, throwing tantrums, loudly blabbering words which make no sense, being vocal about her needs (which she is not sure)  makes her adorable. I miss vishal missing all this….her golden years of growing. In this phase, she needs us and this need can be defined and understood by a mother…..

To ensure vishal experiences all this I have to part ways with my professional life…..with little hurt somewhere, I say bye bye to my corporate life.

3 qualiites i adore about my daughter

So many blogs were pending to be posted. Couldn’t steal spending time from my precious daughter. When she is awake— I am on roller coaster trip…playing, imitating and adoring you. There are few things that I simply adore about ym daughter. I am amazed at with how much ease she can do few things, which at advanced age I still try to do. As mom, I had hoped, prayed and imagined the way my daughter should be…but she is much better than what I had thought and accepted from god or life. She has certain qualities that were beyond my desire….i always felt asking these qualities in her would be a v big ‘’’asking and wishing ’’’ from god. So, when I was pregnant, I left things in gods hand to decide. God did decide the best for me—-my daughter with beautiful qualities.

1)      She has a contiguous beautiful smile. No matter where I go, she is happy with the environment and smiles to everyone. Not every kid does this….and I am proud about her smiling. She greets everyone with her cute smile…..love you darling.

2)      She handles change with ease and excitement. A very rare quality among such young offspring’s. I have no words to explain the comfort and smooth transition vipra has gone from ‘mom-not-working-days’ to ‘mom-working-days’ for this I applaud to my dear daughter. I decided to work after her 1st birthday; fortunately got a good opportunity 15days prior to her 1st birthday. I was so apprehensive leaving her whole day, I cried for 4 hours on the day I got offer letter. Somewhere in the heart I wished for the job opportunity to be lost. In fact I didn’t send the necessary documents for quite some time wishing for the opportunity to be lost. Vishal encouraged and comforted me to a huge extent. Still I wasn’t sure about my decision rather forced decision at that time. I clearly remember the 1st day of my job, I cried for 1 hour to leave you and another hour travelling to office. But you managed so well without me; I couldn’t believe the way you were able to cope up. Exceptionally well. I would be gratefully to you for entire my life. Vishal was in transition of his new role, hence had 2 weeks at home. I asked mom to travel from Mumbai to take care for you for a week. The whole army-vishal, mom & mil where given list of “to-do” and ‘’not-to-do’’ list for you. With god’s grace and the army’s effort you managed to pull off well without me. I missed you so much in office, vishal use to record you on camera for my after the office view. I still miss you so much in office, which I keep on watching your videos.

3)      You forget things easily; v can distract you from non-comforting things. I don’t know how this quality of yours will be useful in future but as of now…..its pretty good for me. I can distract you from any pain, discomfort or unrealistic demands that you make.

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