Something is missing in me……

Have you ever come across this thought? This thought has crossed my mind million times in last 15 years.Its not specific about anything but  just general.

When ever i re-evaluate my life i start getting this feeling.Something is missing in me to make it through in a better way…..ironically what is ” missing in me”’ is unknown to me.That amuses me periodically.When I know something is missing than how come i don’t know what it is….When i don’t know what’s missing than how can I ever find it.When ever i see someone more successful in any area i start getting this feeling.Let me recite when i get this feeling:-

Someone might have got a good job than me,got a promotion over me (What the hell—what’s wrong with me?????), someone has cooked the same recipe better than me (she borrowed my family recipe and made it better, what did i miss), someone drives seamless as compared to me, someone is more content with little less than what I have in life, perfect body shape and size, more athletic than me,more cheerful, more thoughtful, more humanity with little less to offer, better constructive thinking in more despair situations,more affective,more self-disciplined, self-less than me,optimistic, comfortable with what they have and what  they cant have in life, more matured, more settle is reacting over unpleasant experience and the list is endless.More than anything i envy people who have more energy and enthusiasm than me…..these 2 things unlocks most important experience in life.

Than once in a while when i sip into my hot chocolate during early morning while experiencing the morning bliss given by nature, I realize that something missing in me (which i am unknown of) has brought me through.This ”something missing” has made me stand out and contributed to be me. Has highlighted me in capital bold and underlined me(as we usually do to highlight a statement—ctrl b+ctrl u)

What ever I have done or achieved in life is because there is something in me to succeed the way I want. In search of finding and developing the missing factor in me has manifested in many ways.It has driven me to be a better human being. I have understood the difference between more successful person and myself is the TRY.Try to be someone better than i am. In this search of making myself a better person i unknowing, sub-consciously override the missing factor in me.As far as I know that’s all that matters

Been Mermaid for the first time

It had been a long cherished dream which i had thought to make reality one day.The dream was Scuba Diving.Right from the time i have learnt swimming( 7th grade) i wanted to dive and see the life beneath the water. For some unknown reason it was a attraction filled with curiosity.Deep blue water with fragile fish and dense coral with amazing snaps made it a fantastic experience for life.

Scuba diving had definitely been qualified in must-do -before-die list of mine.I was waiting for the right opportunity though. I always thought  scuba diving is extension of swimming. U just have to wear the apparatus and jump in the water with those light weight cylinder and beautiful fins and you are welcome to witness the beautiful underwater life in their surroundings.I was dying to become mermaid…….with pink fins(me being girl, excuse me of the fins colour) and invisible oxygen cylinder, my hair open floating in the direction of deep water –making me a perfect mermaid, what a dream.

Finally me and vishal got a way to book the scuba diving experience. We thought lets try, no harm been mermaid in controlled atmosphere.I whispered to vishal, you would see the mermaid in me rolling all under the water and gliding so comfortably that you would forget i am human.

The day(23rd june) arrived on which we had booked our session, it was 9am in the morning on Saturday.I exactly woke up at 9:5am and jumped out of my bed to hit the pool for the wonderful scuba diving experience. For the first time i dived with dive-line Ipswich.It was 9:30am by the time i figured out  the place. The guy briefed me to come back next time as the session had already started.So he re-booked us on 6th August 2011. The mermaid in me was trying to come out desperately…….but somehow i put her to rest for few more days.

On 6th august we hit the pool before time.I couldn’t hold the mermaid in..let me out you human bitch…….let me out. I was like,sssssshhhhh for couple of minutes than you will be on your on.The instructor greeted us and started to brief about certain safety measure. Couple of things that he briefed:-

1) Sign language inside the water. For obvious reason you cannot speak in water.You have to get your work done with sign lang.I hope i had this rule in my office, i would made my boss run post to pillar to explain her stand to me.Never mind,coming back to the topic.Everybody has to be on same page for the sign lang.Hence we practised a little bit and we were through

2) Pressure level on ears and lungs.Which ever part of your body has air, will be subject to more intense air pressure.As you go deep in the water you should be aware of how pressure works on your body.For simple reasons to be alive.

3) Apparatus:-Introduction, cleaning and fitting of fins, oxygen cylinder, air gauge and face mask.

All dressed up and excited. We entered the pool.Our 1st objective was to learn how to breathe inside the water with the help of  oxygen cylinder.The instructor carefully explained to all of us and showed us the demo. I was really impressed by him.He than asked us to dip ourself in the water and start breathing.I went inside and within 2 mins surfaced out……what the hell the happened? I couldn’t breathe, where is the mermaid in me.””””’hello….some one there…please come out””””’. The instructor followed me on the surface and again trained me on the breathing process. My observation made me realize i was the only one on the surface, all other participants where doing fine.Where is the mermaid in me…….let me call her mermaid mermaid…..no response.Guess she didn’t like the water or the fins colour( the one i was wearing was yellow)…. never mind let me give it a try.Vishal came twice to help me with my breathing couple of times. When we were on surface he made faces to me…..”’gliding in the water, i can barely see you in water”’ . I had bugged me with my excitement all the way till v started diving. Now it has his turn to bugg me on my non-performance. It took me 20 mins to figure out the right way to breathe.By that time the whole class was ahead of me….i was the only one struggling.

It was such a wonderful experience to be weightless and breathing inside the water like mermaid.Finally, instrutour explained us the various safety measure taken in the water. We played disc for a while, had a small competition across the pool( You guessed it right, i was last) , experienced pressure 20feet inside and water and splashed lot of water on each other. Overall very satisfactory experience.Will recommend again to everyone till than i am trying to get hold of the mermaid in me.

Think different

I have fallen in love with this commercial, i have read it like hundred times by now. Every-time i re-hear it-it gives me more in depth definition and en-lightment.  ”Think different” is an advertising slogan created for apple computers in 1997

The one-minute commercial featured black-and-white footage of 17 iconic 20th century personalities. In order of appearance they were: Albert Einstein, Bob Dylan, Martin Luther King, Jr.,Richard Branson, John Lennon (with Yoko Ono), Buckminster Fuller, Thomas Edison, Muhammad Ali, Ted Turner, Maria Callas, Mahatma Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, Alfred Hitchcock,Martha Graham, Jim Henson (with Kermit the Frog), Frank Lloyd Wright and Pablo Picasso. The commercial ends with an image of a young girl (identified as Shaan Sahota) opening her closed eyes, as if to see the possibilities before her.

Original

“

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? We make tools for these kinds of people. While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

”

Full version

“

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Apple Inc.

”

Short version

“	Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers. The ones who see things differently. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Physiotherapy(Post hydro-dilatation)

I was very happy with the Hydrodilatation results.The stiffness had gone, didn’t get the  feel of pain, 80% movements were back and i could carry weights in my hands.Results were has accepted.Finally after clavicle fracture and all non-sense things happened my body had responded to something good.

I use to think quite often, what terrible sins i have done for which i am paying off . Had I understood the logic of our creator-i would have been besides him creating those logic and implementing them. I thanked god for the success of this circumstances.So after brainstorming, i decided to accept to pay for my sins and be thankful that god didnt punish me more severely and more further.

Now, as my mental health was positive and physically body was responding –which signifies i was in a good shape.Started the physiotherapy and after 4 sessions the therapist realized my hand movements above the shoulder was not correct.All the exercise below the shoulder level where fine in fact very seamless. But i had lot of difficulty in exercise above shoulder.The way forward to solve this problem was to go in for one another Hydro-dilatation.As i was already comfortable with the process and its after effects, i was at piece.

So, currently i am waiting for my next hearing i.e my next hydrodilatation appointment. Will keep guys posted about effects and progress after the injection.